Do you ever get asked “what do you do?” by strangers and pause before knowing what to say? You think to yourself, ‘ Do I tell this person about my day job, my hobbies, the things I stay up to the wee hours creating, my family or the thing I think about most throughout the day?’. I find this question hard to answer and am finding I’m being asked it a lot of late.
We should be able to reply,
I am a teacher
a photographer
a writer
a blogger
a planner
a polaroider
a note taker
a reader
a lover of musical icelandic beings
a party planner
a decorator
a homebody
a traveller
a listener
a wannabe sewer and baker
a questioner
an italian food eater
a road tripper
a beach goer
a latte drinker
and all that great stuff…
but we don’t. We just just recite off what we do to earn money and are done with it. I don’t think the question should be “what do you do?” I think it should be ” what makes you happy and how do you spend your time?” Am I being crazy here? I feel like every conversation I have with new people is the same and to me it seems so boring and not a real indication of who I am.
Our worlds are so significantly made up of talk about how we make money and how successful we appear to be, when we should be cheering for the things we love and things that make us happy.
~ YES ~
100% agreed.
A+ :)
I think you can answer it any way you like; if you feel compelled to say your day job, then say it’s your day job! but you can answer with your interests or hobbies if you like.
If you ask X% of baristas or servers what they do, they don’t answer “I work in a coffee shop or restaurant,” they answer “I’m a student,” or “I’m an actor,” or “I’m a writer.”
When someone asks me, I have a two-part answer, “I work at a bla bla firm, and I have a microbusiness doing yada yada,” with the second part of it showing what I am more interested in. I think there are tons of people who aren’t fortunate enough to work at something they really love, and people understand that.
You are not crazy at all. I have always found that question difficult to answer, including the question, “What can you do with that major?” (I majored in Asian American Studies.) It has frustrated me, because I’ve been looking for work for a long time and I chose that major for the joy and interest it gave me. But since people have a tough time making sense of things in their minds, especially when it cannot fit into one of their “categories” or “boxes,” I have had to go into detail and feel that my words were falling on deaf ears.
I wish I could explain more about what I love to do and what makes me happy, but as you have mentioned, no one wants to hear those things. They choose what they want to hear and if it doesn’t satisfy their understandings, they are unsatisfied.
Hi Amanda! so happy to find a fellow Vancouver blogger and tried to subscribe but the page that shows up when I click is a lot of HTML code. Not sure if it’s me or the link is broken? Advice on how to follow you would be super appreciated. I love your blog and the photo tutorials especially much. This post is so on it too, I’ve been working on my “elevator speech” when asked that very question. I like your question much better.
xo
great post, Amanda! Sadly, I would have no idea how to answer this question.
such a great post Amanda.. and i agree
i’m in a place where i’m stuck in the middle though, i don’t really know who ‘tracey’ is at the moment and i don’t really like to say what i do for a crust. oi. i’m working my way to just being happy and being happy to tell people my passions again.
Cannot agree more. Those standard questions always annoy me as I have a chronic illness and cannot answer ‘I work here…’ etc. I wrote a little post about it too, a few months ago:
http://awelschofnotes.tumblr.com/post/1030115842/you-know-there-are-as-many-ways-to-live-as-there
:) And as far as creative pursuits go, if you do have the courage to say ‘I’m a writer/artist/whatever’, a great many people will reply ‘but what do you DO?’ as though how you earn money is more to the point, like you said. Forget vocation, tell where you go to make ends meet!
My sentiments exactly, it’s tedious to be judged upon how much we earn. To be reduced as a person like that. Excellent post!
Thanks for a great post. I’ve been coming back to re-read your words all week.
I think that it’s virtually a non-question from a vacuous imagination–just a social convention. It’s asked to fill a void of silence–like talking about the weather. I think the best response is something as non-sensical as the question–something completely unrelated. Tell them what you had for breakfast, what’s playing on your iPod, about your new shoes–anything except for whatever vocation pays the bills. Or tell them that you’re an international jewel thief and leave it at that. It’s not really a question that deserves a sincere answer. In fact, I dare say that if you just walk away that there might be somebody more interesting in the room–even if it’s just you and the questioner!
great post! I hated that questions for such a long time, especially because I was (and still am) trying to figure out what I really want to do with my life, so giving a label, like teacher or translator, didn’t (and doesn’t) seem right.
eventually I started deflecting. I often answer with ‘Nothing.’ and a big smile. people either give up very quickly, get uncomfortable and that’s the end of the conversation, or they get curious and start re-phrasing the questions. I stay friendly, but till they come up with a question that actually means anything, I simply evade giving an answer. helps you weed out the people who only want to make conversation anyways!
unfortunately this only works when I have a good day. on bad days the question still bothers me.
but I also agree with Jeffrey. it’s more us having a problem with the answer than with the people asking the question.
Just came over from sweet Jane’s and so happy I did. Your blog is beautiful & this post is one of the smartest and loveliest things I have read in a long time….thanks!
xo
Melis
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It’s really heard to describe yourself in like 1 word or phrase because that is just a snippet of what you do. Plus, just because you do something for a living doesn’t mean that’s who you are.
amanda, i hadn’t thought about this from this angle! how much easier new encounters would be… you know when you ask people what they do and they tell you that they work with something you don’t know anything about – and then you’re sort of at a loss what to ask next? (i haven’t got this problem with my work though. when i tell people that i’m a piano teacher, they always light up and go ‘oh, how fun!!!’ and then they tell me all about how little they practiced when they were kids and took lessons. oh, well)
it would be nice to be asked what makes me happy, but i’m not sure i’d want to share everything with everyone – maybe this is why we stick to the ‘what do you do?’ it’s very safe, i guess… and if we like talking to each other, all the other stuff tends to emerge!