Do you ever feel that sometimes your friends don’t understand your creative passions? That the creative being inside of you is often quietly hidden from your real world? Sometimes the people that we have grown up with and shared years of friendship and relationships with are a world a way from our creative addictions. I find this hard to deal with at times and often I will hide my true passions from those I am closest to.
Most of my close family and friends do not read Mocking Bird and it’s simply because I haven’t told them about it. I’ve come a long way with blogging over the years and I almost feel like it’s too late to start sharing the little pocket of the world that I have created here.
I do however have lots of friends that I can share my creative life with but many of them live on different continents and are known to me by way of a computer screen. I love that I can chat away about photography and a creative rich life with the amazing people I’ve met through the internets, but often I wish that my close friends, whom I love dearly, understood this thing I do.
I’ve just scored a book deal and I am embarrassed to even mention it to family and friends. That’s not normal, right?!
Do you have many creative arty friends? Maybe I was supposed to meet them at university but never did. I’d take an art class but I couldn’t paint to save my life!
Thankfully I’m meeting up with one of my awesome photographer friends very soon and she is introducing me to one gorgeous spirited creative lady whom I can’t wait to meet.
Who are your creative soul mates?
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I completely understand this. It’s so hard when something big happens and we are scared to tell our friends or family because we sort of already know that they won’t get it. They won’t understand how big it really is, and we fear it will take the wind out of our sails.
Maybe I’ve missed what you are trying to say. Maybe you are embarrassed to tell them because they will think it’s incredibly cool, but won’t get where it came from, they’ll wonder what you’d been doing all this time that they didn’t know about.
But either way, I know what you mean about not sharing our creative sides with our friends and family. But I try to look at it like this, everyone has a these moments of personal triumph that other people don’t understand. Like when my husband does something outstanding at his computer programming job. I don’t get it, so I don’t get as excited as I probably should. And if it’s his passion, it probably feels similar to how I feel when something big happens in my world and I don’t the response I think I will when I share the news with someone else. (It doesn’t happen very often that he doesn’t get excited for me. I think I’ve drilled it into his head that I need it! haha But it happens often with people at my day job, or other family.)
Anyways. Sorry my comment is so long! Happily, I’ve meet lots of Etsy sellers here in my city, and knowing them has helped me feel like I finally have my arty friends. I didn’t make them in college either! Haha
Happy Thursday!
Yes and I also think that part of it is that I worry that they’ll think I’m strange or something- different to them. LoL I shouldn’t write blog posts late at night.
I worry too that doing creative things can maybe be portrayed as almost showing off- “Look at what I made! Aren’t I clever?” Maybe that’s an Aussie thing…I don’t know.
That’s probably true about what u say about your husband and his computer stuff. It’s all relative, right?
Nooo, don’t apologise. I love long conversations like these. :)
What a well timed post. I was thinking this the other day as I was attending my brother-in-law’s birthday party. On the way home I asked my wife “are we weird?”. I just felt like we had nothing in common and that bringing up any of my current projects would only get odd looks from people who just wouldn’t understand.
I am blessed that my wife shares my creativity, in fact since I met her, I’ve finally felt comfortable with it and have managed to make changes in life that have led to new happiness for the two of us. I do have a few other friends but like you, many are through the internet and some I have never even met (although I’d like to some day).
Why is it that people who are “different” always seem the most cool? =)
And I do think it’s all relative. Creative people just get hung up on it a little more because what they do feels more personal (putting it out there scarier) and the rejection hurts more. I don’t think my husband would feel a stab in the heart over some coding, but I would if someone hated my photography. Then again, maybe he would, and maybe I wouldn’t? ; )
Hi Amanda,
I have been reading Mockingbird for a fair while now and love your photography as well as all the thoughful content.
This post really hit home for me, hence the move from lurkey-reader to commenter.
I have two close friends who have blogs, and talk about blogs, and get inspired with me about design and photography and art online…and then that’s it. There’s no grey area, and no one else I can talk to about reading or writing blogs without feeling stupendously awkward. I think there’s still a fair bit of a stigma attached to anything but a fashion blog in Australia (I’m in Melbourne), which saddens me a little. If you have this thing in your life that inspires you, and others, you shouldn’t be ashamed to share it (here the ‘you’ is a universal one, which includes me too!).
I think it’s nice to have one or two special friends who pull the creative side of you out of its shell. They don’t have to be someone you see often, but when you do, they spurr you on, challenge you, and help you to see creative solutions that you wouln’t neccessarily have thought of by yourself. Then, when you feel yourself getting too busy, or stressed out, and your creative muscle is shrinking, you know that all you have to do is call up that person, schedule a day of drawing, photography, music, whatever, and you’ll feel yourself gently unwinding. Wow, wordy much. So yes, I do have creative soulmates, and this is a thankyou for reminding me how important they are.
Oh, and lastly, a congratulations on the book deal! Now if only I could find a polaroid camera floating around in Melbourne..!
Everyone is creative right? but whether or not their my soulmate… I have yet to find. I will hunt them down and find them.
And we’ll have lattes and scones at the window table in a cafe.
Amanda I get it, totally get it……..but I can’t explain it. I suppose I think my friends see me as one way (the not so creative side of me) and am not sure if they would understand this creative side. I also think at times that I keep the creative me private so I can protect that side from the stress and responsibility of everyday reality………..
I guess I’ve only managed to muddle the question even more, but yes I understand exactly what you are saying.
i completely agree and relate to this. while i do have creative friends in real life, they are on a different plane and don’t always understand the magic and passion behind what i love. i even work in an art gallery where i’m surrounded by art and artists all day…but they are very business-minded and often say that photography isn’t really art! grr. the online community is definitely a refuge where passion and words about it flow freely and are accepted with loving arms. it’s difficult to not be able to share it with people i’m close to, but it’s good to know that there are others out there who exist and share my feelings! both on artwork and the frustrations of not always being able to share…or be understood by those we want so badly to understand.
anyway…that was probably a bunch of babble and talking in circles. in short, i agree! :)
Wow, I could have written this myself a month or so ago! I’d had my blog for several years, but most of the people who are closest to me in real life didn’t know about it. Then several big things came along that I couldn’t really keep quiet, and I didn’t know how to tell people (particularly my family). To my surprise, they took it totally in stride! They were all really impressed with and proud of what I had been doing online. I was worried that they would be hurt or feel that I had been hiding something from them, but they didn’t seem to feel that way at all. In the end, I had created a lot of stress for myself over the whole issue, and it was completely unwarranted.
You should share the news about your book – it’s really, really exciting! Even if your family and friends don’t totally “get” that side of you, they love you and I’m confident that they will be excited right along with you.
Personally, I can’t wait to see your book!
Gosh, I love that you wrote this. I feel exactly the same way. I have been passionate about photography since I was a teenager. I am in my 50′s now but I have no one to share my love of photography with except for you all on Flickr and in your wonderful photography blogs. I have a few friends who enjoy looking at my photos but none who also enjoy taking photos as I do. I wish I could meet up with some of you some day. But you are all so far away. I am in New England in Massachusetts and work in Boston. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I am so excited for you and your book deal. You should share with your family but I know how it feels when you share with someone who doesn’t understand and/or appreciate your art.
i am happy to know that i’m not the only one to feel this way. i concur with everything you wrote in this post and can completely relate to the feelings. thank you for sharing your thoughts :)
you write so poignantly about something i think about so often! thanks for sharing a topic i’m sure many creative types can identify with!
I can totally relate to this!
Most of my family and friends don’t read my blog, and I didn’t even tell my mum that I considered moving away to go to photography school. A few friend know of my passion, but no one shares it (that I know of). And I’m embarassed when I see that real life friends have visited my blog.
I think not telling about the book deal is normal. You are revealing something very personal that you are proud of, and it is only natural that we are anxious as to how it will be received.
I have yet to find my creative soul mate. I am hoping I can find this person through my blog!
I have realized (slowly) that I have to put some effort into getting true friends that I share a passion with (and not only go to the same class in school). I have also realized that I need to stop asking too much from a potential friend. All this time I have been searching for the perfect best friend, discarding a few potential good friends in the process…
I can definitely relate to this post. Most of my friends are not into creative/artsy things and don’t read my blog or understand it. For awhile I secretly wished they would show more interest in something I spend so much time doing, but now I’ve just realized that the two will always be separate. The blog world lets me have my creative outlet, and I spend time with friends + family focusing on all of my other passions (faith, military life, etc.).
Wishing you luck in sharing your good news with friends (I’m sure they will be very happy for you!).
I find creativeness through the blogs I read, yours and several others have inspired me to go out and be creative. I read every post you write and wish your book was coming out soon. I started taking polaroids after reading your posts. I have one wish…..to spend a day with you taking photos.
You should think about setting up a Polaroid meet up…..it would be so much fun. Vancouver is so interesting and I am sure you would get people to join up.
Sometimes I wish I could be in my 20′s or 30′s again to do things a bit differently that I did.
Tell your family about your book, they will be so poud of you.
Hi amanda,
I also have a blog, and all my familie and friends know about it, but sometimes I know they can’t get it, and they don’t even understant what I’m up for. So I really understand you, not so much in art, luckly I have some art friends, but maybe in life still of ways of stading before life, its hard they don’t get it, and sometimes I just stop sharing, because it got to much stress for me to explain it.
Bu you should not give up, everything you do is wonderful even if it just for the universe it self. You should show what you did, even it they don’t get it, it’s what makes you happy, and what makes you move on.
So please, you hace such a wonderful soul that you should share it, even if its hard, even it you think they don’t get it, maybe you get surprise. The worse that can happen is everything stays has it is, so its that so different from what it was yesterday??
Good luck with the book, and all the wonderful projects.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Mariana
From Portugal
I lived those two lives separately for a long, long time too. Blogging was one thing, and real life was another.
And eventually they overlapped ever so slightly. I don’t talk about my blog in real life, and when I do… it feels a little bit tossy… I don’t know why.
My sisters talk about it with me, and my husband too. Sometimes my real friends. But I don’t ever expect or even want my friends to read it. I want to have a real life relationship with them…
Oh I don’t know what I am trying to say. I know what you mean though… xx
Oooh that linked to me. I’m the creative lady! Yay. Can’t wait to meet you either. xx
What a lovely blog post. I totally relate to this. I’m lucky to have a few people in my life who are arty … but even still, their art is different than mine – so while they “get” the arty in general … they don’t really have any interest in listening to me blather on and on about photography.
I sort of feel like this in real life too … you know, you’ve got groups of people who you spend time with in certain situations, but not all together. Like everyone knows a piece of you, but not the whole of you. I have work friends, and crafty friends, and extended family … and not a lot of overlap in those groups …
anyways, just wanted to say thanks for the thoughtful words and congrats on the book deal! way to go!
Wow, Amanda…why is it you always write about the things I think about? lol. I’ve been struggling with the same thing. I love my friends but most of them are very logical and practical types. It gets a little lonely being different. People love that I’m creative and free-spirited but I don’t think they can relate.
Anyways, glad we are friends and wished we lived alot closer!
xoxo
What a great post! I do indeed know what you mean, and I often feel that way with my close family. I’m fortunate enough to have gone to Uni for Fine Art and have a few close friends who are still artistically active, and it’s great to have them around to share ‘war’ stories, hopes and plans with!
I completely understand. My husband gets my creative drive…in a way…he recognizes I have it and that it needs to be satisfied but I don’t think he understands the medium…paper, glue, ribbon. In fact he encourages my creativity more than anyone else EVER has. And, as he is a photographer he is far more sympathetic to my desire to create than my family. My mom, for example, who says everything I do is “nice” or “sweet” or the dreaded “interesting”. My mom doesn’t get it…and neither do many of my friends…so I just keep it to myself…but I want to share it so much so that at times I feel like I am going to burst! And just so you know…it is my husband who directed me to your blog… :) I am so glad I married him.
What an absolute joy to wake up to see 20 comments need approving.
I am so overwhelmed with your responses and have to rush off to work- yes I’m working at the moment- but I will be back later to read them all properly and to reply to every one.
Thank you for your response, gorgeous people.
I’m reading all these comments and I’m wishing I could walk into a coffee shop and see everyone of you sitting there mulling over this very subject and that I’d be able to join you! :-)
Amanda you are so true to yourself when it comes to your posts such as this one and it connects so many of us out there that feel the same way.
I had a friend (once considered best friend) drop in unexpectedly today. I was completely caught off guard and when she saw my laptop open and took a closer look I cringed when she asked, “Is that a BLOG??? Are you blogging??” This was followed by her laughter, which just drained me. She wanted to know why I hadn’t showed her this before, but how was I to tell her, “Because you wouldn’t understand.”
I’m blogging because I want, and I have finally met people who understand what it’s like to want to reach out and nurture your creative side. It’s amazing to me, I read a post like this and I’m so relieved for I feel like I’m not alone anymore. Thank you for that.
The book is going to be amazing! I hope you shout it out to the world how excited you are for you deserve that much!
I totally understand! I am an accountant… You can only imagine what my circle of friends looks like :) … When i took up photography last year i got told that “i’ve officially hit the quarter life crisis!”
I am a relatively new reader to your lovely blog. So hi!
This really resonated with me, too. Sometimes it is like living two lives. For me, I think it is people not really getting the whole blogging thing. Do you think it is an Aussie thing too? I fear judgment from colleagues etc too. Tall poppy syndrome and all that.
You definitely should not be embarrassed about your book deal! That’s such a huge accomplishment. But I know how you feel. The people I’m closest to related to my blogging and picture-taking life are scattered around the world.
My family doesn’ t read my blog, either! I never really mention my blog to them, but it’s a huge part of my life, and I guess their total lack of interest makes me sad. I’ve come to accept that anyone who’s not really into bicycling simply would not be interested with my blog, though. So I try not to take it personally.
oh honey…not that i’m even close to what you’re doing but i so get this..i mention blog and i have friends that eyes roll back in their head.
sending warm hugs.
there are lovely photog-folks in vancouver.
we’re here if you’d like to connect.
I don’t really have any creative soul mates. I know a lot of creative people, but we’re on such different levels. I know people that are in web design, but don’t get the whole blogging thing.
I kinda like having this venture all to myself. Friends/family know of my site, but they don’t have any interaction, and don’t visit. Not sure I really want them to either.