At the well into my adulthood age of 33, there is something that I am totally embarrassed by, something that I hate admitting to people, especially women, something that many people can do, that I cannot. I, Amanda Gilligan, cannot cook.
The reason that I find this so embarrassing is because I am supposed to be able to do this simple task. It is what all the women in my family do, it is what my personality dictates I should be able to do, it makes sense that someone like me should be able to cook. This one little thing is the missing ingredient in my Domestic Goddess make up.
I love to decorate, to have people over to my house, to buy kitchen utensils and fluffy pillows. I would much rather spend my time looking at housewares than going to nightclubs and parties. I am a cancer crab, for god’s sake. It’s even part of my starsign- the domestic homebody!
I do believe that it partly to do with the fact that I am a really boring eater. I don’t really enjoy exotic foods and have a really weak stomach. The smell of tuna induces stomach churning and the “Lemon and Herb” alternative on the Spice-Meter at Nando’s is too hot for me.
I would like to blame my no cooking manifesto on my lack of adventurous eating but I want to be one of those domestic people who can whip up an Upside Down Pear Cardamom Cake and wish I could get excited about a seafood crab bisque. My personality dictates that I should be an apron wearing, dough kneading foodie and I want so badly to be able talk about my favourite foods and recipes with friends. I guess this is why I love to shoot food- it helps me fill that gap in my inner Martha Stewart.
I know I can take lessons and give it a go, I’ve tried. I own recipe books! Is anyone else out there like me? Are you afraid to admit that your husband does all the cooking? Tell me I’m not the only one whose inner chef is trying to break free.
These amazing people inspire me to cook and create food masterpieces. You should check them out.
Tartelette, Canelle et Vanille, a la mode, 101 Cookbooks, La Tartine Gourmande, Pictures and Pancakes and of course Orangette.
I also love these three Aussie foodie magazines: Gourmet Traveller, Donna Hay and Delicious.
Absolutely! (Although I hate to admit it because secretly I would love to be able to cook amazing dishes.)
I’m not an adventurous eater at all and would rather eat mac & cheese over a fancy dish any day.
i feel the same way about gardening. it seems like i should be really good at it – but i kill every plant that comes into my possession!
it is a lovely idea to enjoy yummy takeout and the fact that you have a partner who loves to cook!
I think you’d also like Smitten Kitchen.
There is absolutely no shame in it! I think it says a lot about our society that you feel this way – it’s like, because you’re a woman you are MEANT to be a nester and be good at everything that entails. It’s ridiculous really.
I only really started cooking and baking a year ago, and have been living away from home with my boyfriend for about six months (which means splitting the cooking), but I have to say that once you get a couple of recipes that you can make really well, you feel a lot better about yourself! And good cooking doesn’t have to mean lots of exciting tastes or spices – there’s nothing wrong with a simple quiche or plain vanilla cake. Sometimes the simplest things taste the best.
Amanda, it sounds like we were separated at birth. I don’t cook at all — I mean REALLY don’t cook at all. I’m also a simple eater and can’t get worked up about all the wonderful dishes and meals about which foodies feel the need to gush. The only difference — in your favor — is that my husband doesn’t cook either. We’re perfectly happy eating cereal and fruit for dinner, or a sandwich, or Lean Cuisine.
I consider myself a fairly sophisticated person with fairly sophisticated tastes about any number of things, but I can’t help but feel inferior when people start talking about “throwing a little something together” and having people over. One of our solutions to the dilemma of inviting friends over for food is to have dessert parties. We have terrific bakeries in town, so everyone’s always happy with the fare.
For some reason, I also feel the need to tell everybody that I meet up front that I don’t cook. Overcompensating, perhaps, for feeling inadequate about not being able to cook? No doubt I’m exhibiting some kind of strange psychological condition with a specific name in the DSM III…
I have gotten so lazy with cooking, I have a chef for a boyfriend > > At this point I think I can make pasta and stir fry. I would love to be able to cook better.
Abby, it must be the not liking food much thing.
Alissa, yes thankfully my man does like to cook or we’d be eating spaghetti and grilled chicken every night lol
Teresa, yes, I know Smitten Kitchen! That’s a great idea about trying a couple of recipes and getting those first. I always think I’ll want to do this more when I become a mother. I would hate to not be cooking for my children and yes, that is entirely because of society.
Clara, yes I’m lucky that he cooks and he quite enjoys it too. He made us my favourite dish tonight. He makes this super yummy greek chicken dish with the best roast potatoes and it’s so fattening but so good lol
I totally get the telling people up front thing!
Anna, I think it would be hard dating/being married to a male chef! Awesome but hard lol
It makes me happy to know I’m not the only one.
I actually helped with dinner tonight. Stirring and watching rice and turning potatoes. He trusts me with rice. Yay me. <— note sarcasm.
hi there, well i’ve got 10 years on you, and i still don’t know how to cook. and i will admit that as i’m approaching my 45th birthday, i’m thinking that maybe i should learn.
my husband travels alot for work, and it used to be ok – it was either me (single) or mason being a babe, so food wasn’t really a concern..when he was away.
but now that mason is now 4, i can’t really serve him a bottle and pablum for dinner and hope that it will suffice (or the chips and salsa, along with a glass of wine that i have).
but really, i have no interest. :)
I enjoy eating ALL kinds of food as longs as it’s not spicy. However… I am not a cook, nor do I enjoy it. Preparing food is a hassle, and I’m way too lazy to be inconvenienced by cooking.
Granted I’m a bachelorette that lives alone with animals, and they don’t mind if I don’t cook as long as their food bowls are full.
I, too, am 33 and not a cook. I have STRUGGLED the last year and a half to make dinners for my husband (and son, who, sadly, eats a lot of packaged Gerber food still at 21 months old). It’s stressful (I sometimes find myself drinking a beer to calm my nerves). My husband works so much that he just doesn’t have time to help with dinner anymore – he was the cook until we had a child/he got a job. And he’s quite critical and picky, to be honest. He doesn’t think so, of course. To top it all off – we’re mainly vegetarian, and I don’t prepare any meat dishes at all. Super difficult to find simple, yummy, cheese-less vegetarian recipes.
My husband is out of town right now. I had a salad for dinner. Yep. No cooking involved. Sweet. Just a bit ago I had cereal as a snack.
I’m not a great cook, although I can usually handle recipes pretty well. My husband and I cook about equally. I lack pretty much all aspects of domestic goddessness, so the cooking part does not really stand out :)
Surely you’re good at cooking sweets though?? It would be the perfect match for your polaroids! Frankie have two cookbooks out atm, ‘afternoon tea’ and ‘sweet treats’.
Oh and I have a Donna Hay cookbook and just adore it! Probably only cooked a couple of dishes though. My problem is I’m usually cooking for myself, so I tend to stick with the basic and the tried and true! My fave is a prosciutto and rocket angel hair pasta. Mix a dash of olive oil with half a lemon, salt and pepper and add some chilli – although it’ll still taste lovely without it – and pour this over the pasta, prosciutto and rocket. It’s so delicious it’s not funny! Think it’s from the Bill Grange cookbook.
I’m rambling…
i love eating, and i can cook, but i think it’s boring. too impatient, i guess. i’d much rather help out tidying up when somebody else is cooking!
we all should be proud of what we’re good at! you might not be a great cook, but you’re a great photographer, which is way more cool =)
have a lovely weekend amanda -
Vicki, I think it’s like lots of things that we end up having to do just out of necessity.
Veronica, I totally get that. I’m not all that interested but I wish that I was. That’s the problem.
Sarah, you poor thing! Finding vegetarian meals must be hard. I often wonder how I’d cope if I became a vegetarian. I am totally behind the ideals of what it is to be a vegetarian, but I think I’d starve lol
Dottie haha maybe I was talking up my domestic goddessness. I can’t knit!
Kat, I know! I actually do prefer baking to anything else. I’ve made plenty of cookies and I’ve made cakes. I love shooting food so I should use that to inspire me, right?
Ooh, that sounds delicious.
Beauty…thank you, dear. That means a lot. :)
Yes, I am a VERY impatient person- one of my personality flaws, so I totally get that. It is time consuming. Yeah, I’m the household dish washer and cleaner upper too.
Amanda, I’m also the same as you. I find it embarrassing that my boyfriend always cooks for us. He really enjoys it. I can cook simple things and do try more complex things, but for me it’s a chore and often ends up in disaster! I was a vegetarian for years and still prefer vegetarian food. I have never ate a steak in my life. So I’m not very adventurous when it comes to food. I feel bad and sometimes inadequate as my boyfriend really enjoys food and cooking. I guess I’m just lucky that he does! I can bake cakes though!
I’m another Cancer who doesn’t cook! I just don’t have any interest in it – sometimes I’ll try to make something, but I take shortcuts (or wander off while It’s in the oven or on the stove and forget about it), and end up ruining whatever I’m working on. Luckily my husband is an amazing cook (the son of a chef), and I’m happy to let him handle the kitchen!
with you all they way there! Cooking is just a chore, I hate it with a passion. Most creatives love it with a passion so it feels so wrong to be this way. It’s made even worse as food and eating is a French Collective Obsession. I just wish I could eat out every day.
Thank God there’s so many of us anti-cooks!
Oh..I can so relate to this. Hardly an adventuresome eater..and I regard cooking as a waste of my time. Why cook..when there are images out there just waiting to be captured???
LOL… I am not a fan of fancy food. I like to cook super simple things.
I could ideally eat a sandwich everyday. Just take some simple ingridents and stir.
i like all food, i can’t lie. i learned how to cook mainly from watching tv and it came easily, but baking was a whole other animal. i forced myself to learn via my blog. it’s been a process, but i became a more adventurous eater and continue to try new things. i used to eat zero seafood and so did my fiance…now we are both obsessed with raw oysters. i bullied our palates into changing.
on the flip side, my best friend can’t and really won’t cook. she views it as a chore, but i don’t…it really works out in her favor :)
I hear you! I’m there too.
Cooking for me is such a struggle. It’s not that I can’t cook… it’s just that I don’t know how and I don’t take the time to learn and really… it comes down to the fact that I’ve never ENJOYED it.
My fiance LOVES to cook. When he cooks, I like to be his assistant, but when I try and make a real meal (you know, something that isn’t out of a box), on my own, I get flustered and angry and end up swearing at the stove. For me, cooking is always something that must be done so I can eat (which I love to do), but really, the sooner I get it over and done with the faster I can get back to doing “important stuff” (like blogging).
Recently though I’ve been trying to change that attitude, partly because my fiance is really busy with work and doesn’t have time to cook, (hence if I don’t cook, I don’t eat), and partly because it would be nice to not get angry at the kitchen every time I try and cook. The other night I made chicken, the recipe said it was French cooked chicken, with apples, spices and onions in an appley, gravy which was all cooked in one pan. Despite burning the chicken and smoking up the apartment, this was one of the first times in my WHOLE LIFE where I have enjoyed cooking.
So there is my cooking story. :)
Don’t be embarrassed! I’m not the slightest bit ashamed that my husband does all the cooking, with few exceptions. When dinner is left up to me, we have a very bachelor-like meal of grilled cheese or something similar! I find that baking is slightly easier, but not by much.
Love Donna Hay too!