This Is Not Good Enough
by Amanda on November 4, 2009
Are you ever plagued with the “This is not good enough” creativity block? I am feeling it a lot lately with my photography and unfortunately I feel it quite often.
Some days I will go out and shoot and if I come home with a few shots I am really happy with, I feel really accomplished and like the day was a success. Other times, I sit and stare at my pictures and wonder what it is that I feel I’m lacking and why it is that I have this drive to make things better. Do you ever feel like that?
I get pangs of putting blame on the camera and the lighting conditions. ‘If only I had a Hasselblad, things would be better’ I say to myself. I really do feel resentment towards my digital SLR at times, wishing it would do all the things it does but shoot me out some film.
It is not the camera’s fault. It is not the fault of the clouds. It is up to me and me alone to make things better. It is up to me to learn and grow and challenge myself. Early this year I gave myself a photography project whereby I was going to try and use as many cameras as I could. It did get me using my Yashica again and that has been very rewarding and I have played around with a few different Polaroid cams this year too.
I have this vision of how I see my photography future and it’s up to me to make it happen. Sometimes I think our brains get in the way of our creativity and we have to be strong enough to believe we can be who we feel and want to be.
The only thing I can do to get me out of this self loathing funk is to get out there and shoot. That, or sell my digital gear.
Some Oh So Good inspiration for your Wednesday ‘This is not good enough’ evening:
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Hi Amanda,
You know I used to be very hard on myself about what I produced when I was using my digital camera more. Using film, especially polaroid, has helped me to overcome a lot of that. Maybe it’s because I think about my shots more before hitting the shutter. Now when I do use my digital (which I admit is rare) I don’t take as many shots as I used to.
I also find that if I spend too much time viewing other ppl’s photography online, that doing so can lead me to feel that my own photography just isn’t up to scratch. And that can influence my enjoyment of it. I think that it’s always good to seek inspiration and my goodness, there’s some wonderful inspiration out there, but too much of a good thing isn’t always a good thing ;-)
But in saying that, I’ve saved both of those lovely link URLS to my favourites hahahahh! Wonderful photography.
Yes, you do tend to think more about your shots when shooting film. Yeah, I’m finding my DSLR sitting around not getting used as much at all anymore. :/
LOL Are we drowning ourselves in others’ work?
Well those 2 make me sure feel good about photography and she shoots digital which makes me think there is hope for it yet hehe
I got another thing – I take them, I’m happy with them and I think the day was a success, then I look at them the day after and it’s gone and I’m asking myself “What the hell was I thinking when I took this?
It’s ok to feel like this sometimes (and I do, often), because of the drive you mentioned. It challenges you more, makes you want to explore more, play more.
But it’s good to appreciate your own vision, that’ll be always there whether you want it or not, it’s what makes you unique. Often when you upload on Flickr, I don’t even have to see the name and I go “Amanda!” And that’s a great thing, you know…to have that something extra that makes everything you do so “you”.
For example, I know I’ll probably never take cheerful happy photos, or street photos, because I just like the contemplative mood and light/shadow play in my portraits or still life more than anything.
I don’t know if this makes any sense, it’s early and I didn’t have my coffee yet.
But what I want to say is yes, it’s good to have doubts sometimes, but they can be good, in reasonable amount, it’s what’s pushing you forward.
It’s not about whether it’s digital or a 500 C/M or 503 CW. You will just choose one or 2 that you will stick with later, but it’s all a process. Whatever seems right that moment, the picture is more important – like you said.
oh this is my constant state. or, after i transfer photos to my computer. until i take pictures, i hope they will be good, at least some of them, or one of them will be as good as i want them to be. but..:P i stopped blaming camera and lenses, but i still complain about the lack of light, lack of opportunities, my shyness to take pictures in crowded public places, etc. really, it is only me :P
i like your pictures!
I know the feeling that you mean, and it’s really one of the worst feelings in the world. Makes me want to curl up under a blanket and just give up. And it is so easy to blame it on the camera, the light, the rain (which there is way to much of in Vancouver), and then you feel like you’re coping out and just avoiding the problem.
But here, in Vancouver, sometimes the problem might be that of the weather. A lack of sunlight, a lack of those life giving rays and full spectrum beams, was one of the hardest things for me to deal with when I moved here. Where I grew up it’s sunny almost all the time, sure we get -40 degrees Celsius, but it’s still sunny! I find I always get into a bit of a funk come November just because there is so little sun and sunlight makes everything so much better.
I can imagine it must be very hard for you, since in Australia it was spring moving into summer when you left and here it’s fall moving into 4 months of non-stop gray and rain.
Sorry to go on and on, just don’t be too hard on yourself. The sun will come again and things will look brighter. Personally, I love your photos and am insanely jealous of your Polaroid skillz.
I feel that way all the time. I’ve just come home from an overseas trip and have photos that need to accompany articles and I don’t feel I have enough for what I’m writing. Not enough good stuff, anyway. Argggh.
LoL I’m glad this isn’t just me feeling this way!
Maybe after all this talk, we need to now figure out how to overcome it.
Ashley, thank you for understanding. I thought I was being a big whiner, but yeah I’m not coping with the weather. I have just had a miserable winter at home and am now facing this long road ahead. It’s quite hard to read all my Aussie mates tweet about 35 degree weather at home. I live all year for my summer, so yes, probably the worst time I could have moved to Vancouver lol
But I shall power through it!
Katie, for me, taking photographs is such a HUGE part of my travel experience. That’s the dream eh? Traveling and shooting.
Thanks for all the great comments, guys!
I know. I know. I am putting some distance between me and my Samoa photos, all meant for publication, because at the moment I am tearing my hair out thinking none are good enough, too much shadow, too dark, too light, blah, blah, blah.
What publication are they for? Sounds intriguing.
Oh my goodness I know the feeling. It can really drive you crazy sometimes. Just take some time to clear your head and you’ll be back in action in no time. PLUS I LOVE YOUR BLOG. I’ve been following your other blog Paper Cameras and I’m so glad I found this one too.
i know exactly how you feel. wonder if it’s a girl thing? i’ve been through all these excuses… but it’s good to have this drive to make it better – if our thoughts don’t paralyze us!
your photos are really beautiful, so keep shooting!!